It's been really difficult accepting that I artistically peaked at age 16, with my two years at art school being a complete and utter waste of time and money. I don't know if it was being thrust into the environment of ""doing art"" full time that just made me push against the concept of doing so or whether I just wasn't meant to do it in the first place. After half a year, it's strange how removed I am from creativity now. I'm intending to do a degree in Fashion History, which is not the same kind of output of work. I think I'm daunted by this because I haven't done a purely research and essay based subject since I was 17, although essay writing was about a quarter of my photography degree. I found that incredibly difficult as photography was never something I felt I wanted to do, it was just something I was decently good at and enjoyed so I thought why not just do it at degree level at one of the best art schools in Europe. Pair that with an inferiority complex and that worked out swimmingly.
I feel like I've wasted so much of my time as a teenager and now young adult, and I might be wasting my time with this Fashion History degree too, as I'm going into it the exact same way I did with my Photography degree; I have a slight interest in this thing and no prior education in it so let's just do it in a completely full on way. I know I never fully know until I try, but if that ends up going wrong I truly don't know what I'm supposed to do.